Unless you are an absolute control freak (no shame in this game- I’m a recovering one!) you are aware that life is a constant balance of holding on and letting go.  From relationships, to jobs, to habits, to material possessions…let’s face it, sometimes it is really hard to figure out when to let go, as it can be complicated and confusing.

If that’s the “bad news,” let me share the good news!  Letting go of things or people that no longer serve your higher good can lead to many positive outcomes. The more you say “no” and release that which is no longer serving you, the more space you have to bring in that which you do want. Releasing things like toxicity and chaos leaves you with stillness and peace, an ideal place to plant healthy seeds of growth from. Use these markers to help guide you in your releasing process.

1.  It is causing you more pain than joy

If something is a source of stress or suffering for you, especially if there is no positive payoff like joy or excitement, it may be time to let it go. Always ask yourself if something is a source of chaos or of peace. Your answer will clue you into what you should do.

2.  You are expected to change who you are or your values

One way we show love to ourselves is by keeping things in our reality that AFFIRM who we are. When we compromise ourselves we betray ourselves. This is a form of chaos that leads to low self-esteem and self-neglect. Keep things in your life that lift you up, and release anything that expects you to change who you fundamentally are.

3.  You can’t remember that last time you were truly happy, smiled or had fun

Self-reflection is key for growth. In your reflection, if you have a hard time remembering when you experienced pleasurable feelings like happiness and joy around a person or in a certain environment, it may be time to let it go.

4.  You no longer know the definition of a healthy relationship

Sometimes, when we live in a single context for too long, we can forget what the contrast feels like. If we are used to a toxic or dysfunctional relationship, markers of a healthy one can feel far away or foreign. Sometimes its best to let go of these situations to get our mental health back on track and healthy.

5.  You constantly feel tired, drained, low energy and unfulfilled

If your daily experience involves at least one of these things, chances are its time to reevaluate a few things. These are symptoms of imbalance, of something needing to shift. It might not be a bad idea to do some soul searching and figure out where the source of these symptoms is so you can let go and uplevel.

6.  The red flags of an abusive relationship seem to be piling up

If you aren’t sure what flags to look out for in a relationship, your gut probably does. If you find yourself ignoring your intuition and mistrusting your gut instinct, it might be time to reassess. Abusive relationships will never have your best interest at heart, no matter how attaached you are to your partner. Letting go can feel scary but it can also be one of the best decisions of your life.

7.  Your trust continues to be broken  

The single most important factor of any healthy, stable relationshp is mutual trust and respect. When these boundaries are not honored, especially continually, its usually best to release. Staying will feel like watering a dead houseplant- sad and not productive.

8.  When you find yourself living more in the past than in the present

It is so crucial to see people and environments as they are in the NOW. All we really have is the now. Hanging onto past memories of when things seemed better will only drive us deeper into delusion and confusion. Make an honest assessment of where your situation is at CURRENTLY, and ask yourself if it’s where you really want to be.

9.  You’re the only one doing the “work” or making changes

Relationships are never a one-way street. If yours feels like it is, where you are the one carrying most of the emotional burden and doing most of the development toward shared goals, it may be a fitting time to release.

10.  You’re googling “Signs It’s Time to Let Go”

If you know enough to know that something isn’t quite right, and you’re catching yourself reading articles like this, it could be a clue that you are ready to think about shifting. The body usually knows ahead of the mind, so if you are feeling enough to be here right now, your logical mind might just need a little more time to process and play catch up.

Letting go can be tough. We can feel so entrenched in our comfort zone that we can’t imagine something better. Often times, however, there are much greater things waiting for us beyond our limiting beliefs holding us onto the things no longer serving us. The key to achieving this higher level is honesty with yourself, fearlessness in your actions, desire to feel your best, and faith in knowing it is all possible. It all starts with you.

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