The Formula for Getting YOU Out of Your Own Way

March 15, 2022
Shanna Windle

You may have landed on this blog post because you searched something like:

I want to transform my body

How do I transform my life

I feel stuck in life

I feel stuck in my relationship

I feel stuck in my job

I feel stuck in my head

How do I stop overthinking

How do I stop worrying


These are all great questions aimed at transforming your life in some way. If you are searching because you need to “stop” a behavior, or you feel “stuck” in some way in life, you are probably feeling the depths of the emotional pain that can come with needing to answer these questions for yourself.


But don’t fret, help is on it’s way! In the form of a simple formula that I teach my coaching clients and my Rapid Transformational Therapy clients that can help YOU get out of your own way as well.


The Power of the Subconscious Mind

Did you know, your life is a product of the beliefs you have stored in your subconscious mind? You might find it shocking to know that our subconscious mind actually dictates 95% of our behavior every day. What route we take to work, what coffee we choose to drink, what people we choose to interact with, how we brush our teeth, the types of jobs and relationships we are in… you name it!

Until we are told any differently, many of us believe WE are in control of what we are doing throughout our days. In some ways WE are, but it’s not the part you think is in control. We only spend about 5% of our days making our decisions from our conscious minds. Which means the other 95% of our choices and behaviors are coming from our subconscious mind, a superpowered computer operating system, if you will, which we are unaware of.

So how do we crack the code and start transforming our life?

The BTFAR Formula

The BTFAR formula is the answer to this question.

Our beliefs make our thoughts, our thoughts make our feelings, our feelings propel our actions, and this creates the reality we live.

Now, this is not a formula created by me! If you type in behavioral change flow diagrams, etc., you will see this formula all over the place. And it is referenced many times in Law of Attraction and manifestation literature as well.

As a Rapid Transformational Therapy hypnotherapist, I work with this formula EVERY day while my clients are in hypnosis. We examine the incorrect or harmful belief that they have been carrying for much of their life, and we go to work transforming that belief.

Can you give me some examples of what this practically looks like? Of course!

Example 1 - Money Blocks

Are you someone who has issues with money - you never make enough, you’re living paycheck to paycheck without ever being able to save? You might blame yourself day in and day out BUT this IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED OF - IT’S JUST OLD PROGRAMMING! The underlying belief might be: “having money is not familiar to me”; “having money is not spiritual”

Example 2 - Relationship Patterns

Same with relationships - perhaps you are finding you are attracting the same type of partner, whether they are toxic for your life, a narcissist, emotionally unavailable, you name it and you ARE SICK OF IT. You start to question yourself and your “picker.” Again - this is a product OLD BELIEFS that just need reprogramming. Once the beliefs get reprogrammed, so does the rest of your life.

Example 3 - Mental Health Struggles

Or perhaps you have reached a level of anxiety in life that much of your day, you have heart palpitations, break out in sweats, bite your nails to nubs, and have trouble concentrating. Again, there is an OLD BELIEF SYSTEM AT PLAY that is causing this ultimate reality for you.

Take a moment now to think about a pattern, habit or behavior in your life that you desperately want to change… perhaps it’s losing weight finally and keeping it off, or getting a better night’s sleep, or feeling happy again without needing medication, etc. The likelihood is, if there is a behavior that you know you need to change or desire to change, there is a belief system that is running in the background dictating that particular behavior in life.

Transforming Your Behaviors

You can use this formula in a conscious state as well, as many of my transformational coaching clients have done with me. It’s a process of reverse engineering, where we start with the behavior or pattern that needs to be changed and we work the formula in reverse. So for example, if you want to lose weight, your formula reverse engineered might look something like this:

R - I feel gross and am too heavy

A - When I feel gross and am too heavy, I don’t put myself out there; I don’t go to the gym because I am embarrassed of the way I look

F - When I feel gross, and don’t take action from a loving place to do anything about it, I feel like a failure.  I feel lethargic and depressed.

T - When I feel lethargic and depressed, I speak badly to myself.  I shame myself constantly.

B - I don’t deserve the body I want; My value is attached to the scale; I am not safe to be attractive

To lose weight and keep it off, you have to create and instill a new belief that is supportive to you. You can’t shame yourself into losing weight, it never is sustainable. BUT, if you create a belief that you are deserving, you are safe, you are valuable no matter what the number is on the scale, than your thoughts become more positive. And your feelings become more positive. And the actions you take are ones from self love and self care instead of negative emotions such as shame. And when you take actions from a place of self love and self care, the reality you create is something you can sustain for the long term.

So, I am giving you the best kept secret that isn’t really a secret. If you find you are trying this formula and having a hard time with it’s steps, or identifying the problematic belief, HERE is a link to a free consult call with me. If the behavior or pattern is severe or problematic enough that you are looking to eliminate or modify it in a sustainable way, Rapid Transformational Therapy hypnotherapy and/or transformational coaching would be a fantastic fit for you.

Still not sure what RTT is all about? Find out here.
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